The Sequel (second letter ~10 days later)
$12.99

A second letter sent about 10 days later.

Petty Confetti
$3.99

A little extra petty confetti.

Make It Meaner (writing upgrade)
$4.99

A sharper, meaner rewrite.

Mystery weird sentence
$2.99

One baffling sentence, just for you.

Premium creepy/official envelope
$3.99

A creepy, official-looking envelope.

Eau de Asshole (fart spray)
$4.99

Obviously.





Extra-long letter
$5.00

A longer, extra-detailed letter.

The Asshole Letter
$19.99

We roast assholes. We don’t terrorize people. No threats. No stalking. No kids. No hate speech. No pretending to be the police/government. No accusing someone of a crime. No repeated unwanted campaigns that turn a joke into harassment. Be petty. Don’t be psychotic.