They don’t know what you’re adding. Could be confetti, smell, strange sentence, bizarre sign-off, etc.
Different wording, same theme, same offense — a second letter to drive the point home. Arrives 7–14 days later.
The Asshole Code
We roast assholes. We don’t terrorize people. No threats. No stalking. No kids. No hate speech. No pretending to be the police/government. No accusing someone of a crime. No repeated unwanted campaigns that turn a joke into harassment. Be petty. Don’t be psychotic.
Anonymous to the recipient. Their letter and envelope never show your name or return address.
What you’ll provide before we mail it: 1) Who they are (coworker, ex, neighbor, friend, family, or general menace). 2) The dirt, kept legal. 3) How hard to roast. 4) Their full mailing address (Apt / suite optional).
bundled
Old-school spite, parchment energy, sealed wax. Someone mailed a roast from the good old days.
Raised on lead paint and denial. It’s time to tell them they’re an asshole — with BOOMERFETTI™.
Latchkey kids with irony and unresolved feelings. Someone mailed theirs back — with GENXFETTI™.
You're not breaking generational curses. You're just giving them better branding and a Stanley cup - with millennial confetti to match the vibes.
The Main Character Energy Bundle™
Because someone has to tell them the ears don't make them special — and it might as well be anonymous.
INCLUDES
• The Asshole Letter — a customized, petty roast with peak Disney Adult references and maximum main character energy.
• Confetti — tiny ears, popcorn buckets, or castle-grade sparkle.
• One painfully specific Disney Adult reference.